Friday, March 19, 2010

HOw I Feel

Ok, so i realized that i feel kinda paranoid in a way all the time. i feel like i'm in trouble with my friends. that if people are talking quietly near me i always think they're talking about me. i don't know if this is because i have self confidence issues or because there's just something wrong with my head. is this true paranoia? i wonder sometimes what is wrong with me.

ifeel so often that i may not have multiple personalties, but i can compartmentalize everything so well.  sometimes i feel like noothing fazes me.  why?

 i mean i dont feel dead inside. just empty most of the time.  hollow.

vini says stuff to me & i just dont get it. i hear what he says & i just dont understand what he says.  but melissa gives me tasks sto do, i accomplish them with no real problem.  im there & in the moment.  then sometimes i just drift in my head & i lose the thread of conversation. i get it back usually, but not always.  and its the ssame with how i communicate with them.  i can picture exactly what i want to convey, but when i speak, it comes out confused & convoluted.  i used to be so much more eloquent than i am now.  what happened?

can i figure it ou?

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